That Thing That Happened in High School That Pretty Much Changed My Life

Friday, March 30, 2018

"High school is what kind of grows you into the person you are. I have great memories, good and bad, some learning experiences and some that I'll take with me the rest of my life."
― Giancarlo Stanton

Outfit Outfit
Mackage Jacket from Aritzia (similar/similar) | Wilfred Jumpsuit from Aritzia (similar/similar)
Stuart Weitzman Shoes (similar/similar)


Heart Break

So, I basically had writers block and I tend to look to Google for personal topics to write about (I don't know why I find it so hard to talk about my personal life). But I saw this and decided that this was what I was going to write about! And I don't think it was 1 thing that changed my life but 2 things!

During high school, I had my first official boyfriend - the guy I told my parents about, went to go hang out with outside of school, held hands, made out - you know, the usual. I thought I was madly in love and everything was so perfect. Or so everything seemed .... high school breakups are the ones that crush your soul and eat away at you. At that age, you don't know any better. You think you've met the love of your life, that being together feels like a dream and everything is always perfect even when it isn't.

When my boyfriend at the time was starting to become distant, stopped calling, stopped meeting me at our meeting place, I felt lost and alone. And when the time came to finally talk about it, I was left in the dust. All he said was "we fight too much" when I couldn't even think of a time we did fight. It wasn't until a couple days later that I found out he was secretly seeing someone who was an acquaintance. I think it was knowing that he was seeing someone else and lied to me about our relationships that took an even bigger stab to my heart.

I cried and cried and cried for days. I felt empty and sad. But when I finally came around, it made me realize that I didn't need a person like that in my life. If I wasn't worth the time and effort, to be honest with, then I didn't need that in my life. It did take me a couple more tries to finally meet the man of my dreams - one who treats me like a queen but it took this one heartbreak to understand what it was like to go through that. I am more than happy to say I never have to experience that in my life because I've finally found my soul mate but everyone and I mean everyone has to go through this soul-crushing ache to be to grow stronger and to be able to stand up for what you want in a relationship.


Outfit Outfit


Shunned

It was in high school as well that I lost the most valuable people in my life at the time - my best friends.

Having best friends, especially at that time, means the world - they're the people you go to when you're having a fight with your parents, boyfriend, siblings, etc. They're your backbone, your support, your second home. And that's exactly what they were to me. They were my everything since the day I met them and that all came shattering down when our interests were no longer the same. I wasn't into underage drinking, partying at people's houses, going to bush parties or anything like that. My parents taught me to stay away from that stuff, so I did. And when I decided to stand my ground on this and didn't see eye to eye with my best friends - I was shunned.

I think this was even more soul-crushing and more hurtful than my first heartbreak. It was like 3 heartbreaks times 100. I loved my best friends at the time, with all my heart and I don't say love easily. They were my world and when I was no longer 1 of them, it just took a beating to my soul. And honestly, I don't think I've ever been the same. I've lost all trust in having really close girl-friends. I don't bond the same and I've stopped believing that I need to surround myself with just girls to feel better, gossip about shit, spill my soul out too. I just feel like, it's all so fake. A lot of friendships between girls can be broken over stupid shit, like relationships and not understanding the new bonds that are being built there - and this is a big one for me because I'm sorry but if you don't understand that I wanted to spend 99.9% of my time with Israel and Berkeley then you're hella not being part of my life.

And that is what I learnt from this second life-changing moment in my life - that I will choose what is best for me and only me. And if the people around me are not happy, then fuck them. I'm sorry but Israel and Berkeley, my family, work and blogging all come first as my priorities. I feel more than overjoyed when I see my friends but the people that matter will make the time to make it work and not nag me or demand my time - not anymore.


Outfit Outfit

I learnt a lot from high school. As much as I hated my high school years, I don't regret what happened because I learned a lot about life and myself. I'm still learning and making mistakes but high school definitely took a big stab at my soul and made me a stronger and better person.



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- The Cassie Paige
Photos by Israel

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2 Comments

  1. I can totally relate. Thanks for sharing and keeping it real. It's a great reminder that everyone and not just myself can be vulnerable at times and can come out even stringer than before.

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  2. Writing about one's personal life is very difficult. Kudos for getting through the high school heartbreaks, and on trusting your own common sense and good judgement.
    Your outfit photos are great. Best wishes for your enjoyment of the upcoming beauties of Spring.

    http://www.full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/

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