Getting Over the Fear of Publicly Blogging

"Inside every woman, is a crazy girl. And we all know what I'm talking about. That part of you that is entangled with insecurities, fears, and absolute insanity! The art of femininity lies in the molding, pounding, and defeating of that crazy girl on a daily basis! Look at any woman, and you're looking at a woman fighting a daily battle, wielding her weapons in war, every day! I have said it before and I'll say it again: it is never easy being a woman! And if we could only pound that crazy, insecure girl out of ourselves, it would make such the difference!"
― C. JoyBell C.


Wilfred Free Dress from Aritzia (here)
Badgley Mischka Shoes (here)

Being Publicly Open

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I don't think blogging has ever come easy to me. It's honestly like a second job. I have to take time out of my day to take photos and then I have to make sure Israel isn't working nights to help me after work (or worse, we have to do it on our days off - which I make seem worse than it really is but it's time away from relaxing). After that I have to think of content to write and if I don't have anything really to say then I feel like I'm just a boring ass person. On top of that, there's photo editing and I should probably spellcheck my work but I never do because it's honestly just another step that I don't want to really worry about.

So why the hell do I even blog? Because at the end of the day, I love it. I love being able to sit down and write a heart felt post like this and I hope that I can inspire, reach out and touch someone out there.

But I wasn't always so open while writing posts. I felt embarrassed at times at some of things I wanted to say or blog about. I hated taking photos out in public. I hated the idea of being judged by other people that I would try to take photos in the house or the backyard - which isn't terrible but it also wasn't exciting. It was just photos to have photos. They weren't quality and there was no heart behind them. Then one day, I just decided to put all the fear of embarrassment and judgement behind me and do what I wanted to be doing.




Getting Over the Fear

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It wasn't an easy transition. I don't think I even started taking photos in the public until half way into my blogging years and even then, I always wanted to try to do them on quiet nights and hidden places so no one could watch me. Even now, I'm still slightly like this - even when we were taking these photos for this post, some strangers drove up to me and Iz and asked us what we were doing, I didn't even want to start taking photos until they left - but they were kinda creepy ... but at the end of the day, if they didn't leave I would have just sucked up and took the photos, whether it be doing it in front of them and having to move out of the way so they wouldn't creepily watch.

Even when I write my posts, I never wanted to write things that made me sound lame or uninteresting so I always tried to write about my day, which almost came off even more boring. Maybe it was just me, but I cringe when I read some of my older posts and see some of the photos. It just wasn't the direction I was wanting for my blog. I wanted it to be special and all about me, with no judgement or hate from anyone.

Before The Cassie Paige, I attempted multiple times to make a style blog and failed because I never wanted anyone, not even my significant other, to know what I was doing. I thought it was weird that I wanted to showcase my style. And in the beginning of this blog, I always hoped that Israel or my family would never read through my posts and then have to talk about my posts out loud because I was scared of what they thought. And all this ended up resulting into low quality posts and photos.



So Fuck It

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Then one day, I said fuck it. Forget everything I was afraid and just go all out. It's not worth dedicating my time and effort if I'm only going to half ass this passion.

So this is where The Cassie Paige stands - a blog with a passionate blogger who is willing to poor her heart out while displaying my sense of fashion, whether you like the way I dress or not. Because who cares if you hate my outfit, I obviously wore it because I thought I looked bomb ass in it. And I know I'm doing it for a reason, even if some people think it's a waste of time or whatever. I don't care - it's what I want to be doing with my time and I enjoy it.

Don't get my wrong, I'm still shy and awkward as hell in front of a camera. When I had to film my video for the Show Us Your Edmonton Style challenge. I waS super shy in front of the camera man and the other bloggers! But I sucked it up and did it. I might not have been as smooth as the other girls but I tried. And that's what I'm going to keep doing - breaking out my shell and growing The Cassie Paige.


On another note, can you see my tan lines on my back? I got daaaaaaaaark from DR and I feel like you can see my bathing suit outline ....

- The Cassie Paige
Photos by Israel